Tiki Heads & Possessed Noodles

Long story.

Long time.

Got attacked. Hit a tiki pole. Tiki mask got stuck on my head. Fell into the pool.

Long?

~ * ~

Possessed Noodles

*screams and topples back in chair*

Ohmygod what is it, Ace? Ace?

It moved. I swear to gawd it moved. The noodle moved.

~ * ~

It's Only a Screwdriver

Ace... why are you talking to your screwdriver?

*silence*

And... giving it flowers?

Er, I can explain?

Then humor me.

*silence*

It's Only a Screwdriver Sequel

Ace, I want you to repeat this to yourself. It's only a screwdriver. Keep repeating it until you feel you can release the screwdriver

But- it's only a screwdriver. It's only a screwdriver. It's only a screwdriver. It's only a screwdriver. IT'S NOT ONLY A SCREWDRIVER! COME ON, SCREWY, LET'S GET OUT OF THIS MADHOUSE!

*startled silence*

~ * ~

IMing David Tennant

David_Tennant as entered the chat room

Not_So_Normal_Fuzzy says: Oh em gee is that the David Tennant?

David_Tennant says: Yes. Who is this?

Not_So_Normal_Fuzzy ssays: *drools*

David_Tennant says: Um...

Not_So_Normal_Fuzzy says: Are you a science geek?

David_Tennant says: No!

Not_So_Normal_Fuzzy says: Are you a chav?

David_Tennant says: WTF? No! Sod off!

Not_So_Normal_Fuzzy: Are you gay? Coz you use hair gel.

David_Tennant says: No, I am not gay, piss off.

Not_So_Normal_Fuzzy says:Are you sure, because I heard that you wear red satin ladies knickers!

David_Tennant says: Now I know why they call you 'Not So Normal'.

David Tennant has left the chat room

Not_So_Normal_Fuzzy:David? David? Are you there?

BUZZ!!

Not_So_Normal_Fuzzy: David?

BUZZ!!

BUZZ!!

BUZZ!!

BUZZ!!

Keep in mind that this nearly happened... That's Ace for you!

~ * ~

Spirit and Ace IMing
read from the bottom up!

Spirit has left the conversation

Fuzzy: Tiki... Heads... &... Possessed... Noodles...

Spirit: yea i kinda got that

Fuzzy: Never. Leave. Coffee. Out. Ever.

Fuzzy: *eye twitches*

Spirit: er 1 ten

Spirit: speaking of why are u up at 13 ten

Spirit: Sure u did

Fuzzy: ... Right... I knew that.

Spirit: u r so daft sometimes. it's talking about my generation not regeneration! by the who, i think...
Fuzzy: ... isn't that a song?

Spirit: WTF?!

Fuzzy: talking about my regeneration...

Spirit: so've i!

Fuzzy: Because... I... have... a.... BLEEDIN'.... British.... accent... and.... it.... is... all... your... EFFING.... FAULT

Spirit: so... identity crisis... how is that my fault again

Spirit: u'r right i don't

Fuzzy: Oh no u don't!

Spirit: ... g2g

Creepy_Fuzzy: I know- wait... was that an insult?

Spirit: u r so malevolent sometimes

Suspicious_Fuzzy: *looks around and pauses in chewing the head off of a jelly baby*

Spirit: wut if someone came on now? someone else I mean?

Not_So_Normal_Fuzzy: JELLI BABIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spirit: do everyone a favor and lay off of the jelly babies...

Twitching_Eye_Fuzzy:

Twitching_Eye_Fuzzy:

Twitching_Eye_Fuzzy: *eye twitches and pauses in hyperventilating*

Spirit: watching doctor who is not helping u at all u no

Hyperventilating_Fuzzy: *breathes through a plastic bag*

Spirit: no need 2 overreact fuzzy

Angry_Fuzzy_Returns !!!!!: I'M TAKING THE FIRST EFFING PLANE I CAN CATCH, COMING OVER TO YOUR BLEEDIN' FLAT, BOMBING IT, AND THEN STRANGLING YOUR DEAD, SHRIVELED BODY!

Baffled_Fuzzy !!: I think I'm having an identity crisis...
Angry_Fuzzy !!: .

Spirit: its not my fault i moved to england and started picking up the lingo & accent! blame my parents

Fuzzy: !!!!!

Fuzzy: MY LINGO/ACCENT ISSUES ARE ALL YOUR FAULT!

Spirit: Wut is?

Fuzzy: THIS IS ALL YOUR BLOODY (!.!) FAULT!

Fuzzy: *changes the subject*

Fuzzy: !! ANYWAY

Spirit: Wait- tell me the truth.

Fuzzy: Okay. I don't want to ruffle his hair.

Spirit: I mean the 2nd question! Please tell me u don't want to ruffle his hair!*

Fuzzy: Yes I did.

Spirit: Yeah yea yea. U never answered me about u'r new e-mail.

Fuzzy: Hey Spirit

Spirit has entered the conversation

Fuzzy has entered the conversation

~ * ~

An Ace-Sized E-mail to Lilz

YOU FIGURE IT OUT" and then we laughed and AHHHHH!!!!!! Okay, I just downed like twelve pounds worth of reeses peanut butter cups so i think i'm gonna go hypervenilate... or go climb a tree. either way. this was possibly the longest, most pointless email i have ever written. CHESNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE JACKFROSTNIPPING_ATYOURNOSE SHOOT THE GIANT BOWLING PIN WAS REAL RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

FLYING FERRETS ARE SLOWLY TAKING OVER THE WORLDS POPULATION OF BREAD! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

DIEDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIEIDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*shoots with machine gun and beats against sharp metal doorframe even though I'm not sure how sharp a doorframe can be- scratch that* *beats against several sharp objects found in the lab* Oo, pointy. *pokes* OUCH IT BIT ME!!!! *insert your choice of words to use in a string of French here* DIE ******** ********* POINTMETALTHINGYMABOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*breathes heavily*

Well, I gotta go, sorry! Sorry that I made you read this ridiculously long, pointless email. And this is how the other string of insanity started. Yeah, so I'm out before- SHOOT!!!
YOUGOTTHEBESTOFBOTHWORLDSCHILLINOUTTAKEITSLOWTHENUROCKOUTDASHOW

YOUGETHTELIMOOUTFRONTNANANANANANAEVERYSHOEEVERYTHINGEVERYCOLORLALALALALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

LEAVEITALLTOME-LEAVEITALLTOOMEEEEEEEe

QUICKLY HIT SAEND HIT SENT HIT SEND HIT SEND HIT SEND HIT SEND HIT SEND HIT SEND HIT SEND HIT-

BEEEEEEEP


Quote:

This message cannot be sent without a subject. Are you sure you want to send this-

OH SHUT THE **** UP YOU-

And now for the credits

~ * ~

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

*twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are*

Leave me BE! I'm singing lullabys to my flourscent stars!

...

QUIT LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!

~ * ~

Ace Can't Cook

Ohmygawd, Ace, you're on fire!

What do you mean? I'm going slower than a 500 year-old tortoise stuck in quicksand.

No, I mean you're literally on fire!

What the- ah! *proceeds to beat hair with wet oven mitt* I was ONLY making ICE CREAM!

Mind you, this happened once. Living proof that Ace cannot cook. Ever. She is banned from the kitchen.

~ * ~

Thinking about Time Travel
^{just something Ace said to me the other day that I thought was notable... and genius... and... weird.}

Ace, what are you doing?

Thinking about Time Travel


... why?

Well, if one end of the wormhole is accelerated to some significant fraction of the speed of light, perhaps with some advanced propulsion system, it could then be brought back to the point of origin, am I right? *not pausing* Alternatively, another way is to take one entrance of the wormhole and move it within the gravitational field of an object that has higher gravity than the other entrance, and then return it to a position near the other entrance, would that be right? So, technically, this provides some counterexamples towards Hawkings theory that time travel isn't possible, which brings me to one point. How would you be able to detect a wormhole?

...

How the hell should I know? *walks away*

~ * ~

Holy Crap!

Okay, so have I got a weird story for you. I go to school, right? Hopefully you do too, whoever you are. But ANYWAY... Back to the story.

Okay, so my school's always having blackouts. On one period, we have something called arts option, and this semester's theme was Mardi Gras. So at the end of the semester, we had a Mardi Gras party. Everyone made masks, hats, and painted faces. At the end of the day, we all had to go into the bathroom to wash out faces and fool around. So, all of the sudden, the lights go out, right? Of course, Ace tries... and fails... in scaring me. So instead, she goes to scare other people, and everyone starts screaming (her theme song is, after all, 'Psycho') and running, and no one knows where the light switch is, except for me, and I try and turn the lights on, but instead, I flip them off.

When the lights come back on, my friend, Elizabeth, hadn't painted her face, and I guess the teachers heard us yelling and screaming, so she sends her (who is like, the biggest tomboy in the world, by the way- besides Ace, that is) to come and get us. Now, today, Lizzy is having a really bad hair day, and she's stuck in her gym shorts and tee shirt. She opens the door, and we can't see who it is, all we know is that it looks like something out of an Alien movie, and of course, we all scream, and then Ace just had to make something funny of it, and she yells,

"Holly CRAP, it's Jesus!"